Good parenting comes from a healthy relationship between you and your partner
I read this somewhere last summer and really didn’t bother to think over this until I became a mother myself.
Whoa, can’t believe it’s almost summer again and I’m holding my five month old baby girl in my hand. My heart is full <3.
Having a baby is the best feeling in the world but it surely teaches you a lot. While I was pregnant, I read random articles on a child birth, parenting, relationship with your partner after baby. My husband and I also attended classes on some of these topics.
Really if you think for a moment, your relationship with your partner does change after having a baby. Why not?
I’m saying this in a positive but practical context. Before having a child, most of our conversations and thoughts include only two of us. Usually the weekends are filled with fun, adventures, travelling, movie nights and date nights.
It will be wrong to say that our love for each other decreases but a transition from being a lover to a first-time parent is not so smooth. You have that tiny and cutest human in your life needing your time and care more than your partner for now. You have to prioritise your bub over each other. They are small but going to take most space in the house, in your heart and in your bedroom too 🙂 That sounds pretty obvious. Isn’t it? But it’s not as easy as it may sound.
This time demands the strength, understanding and patience out of your relationship esp. during the initial stage when both of you are trying to settle down in this new phase of your life.
Things were difficult at times and we were not an exception but, I’ll tell you here what has worked out the best for us and made our relationship even stronger. After all It’s so crucial to have a healthy and happy relationship for a good parenting 🙂
Support each other in this new phase
Haven’t you got their back during every other challenge in their life? then why not be their rock solid for this beautiful yet overwhelming time too. You both are first time parent who is learning new things through experience every day.
No one knows everything from start, we all learn as we experience. Rather than pointing out on their struggle, ensure to show your support and love by saying encouraging words like “you’re doing great” / “you’re so awesome”. Share your leanings, ready to learn from them and grow together (Isn’t that a tag line of Like a Lime? 😊) Honestly, I learnt this from my husband. In turn, I started using this for him and we both became a great support system for us.
Communication is the key
I have always been putting communication as the first key to solve many questions of my life. It works, really.
There were times, I felt my husband’s behaviour has been changed. It wasn’t so in reality. He is such a humble person, best partner and my handyman 🙂 The real player was my postpartum hormones. They perform extra ordinary and sometimes they make you think galaxy. This is something out of our control but I always used to talk it out my thoughts to my husband. I understand many of us are not so comfortable in speaking our mind out but trying to communicate with your partner only gives you opportunity to not to lead any misunderstandings.
Parenthood is not easy. Use communication as your source of keeping in touch and checking on each other’s mental health. It does help.
Be ready to offer and accept help
Ahhh how do I offer a help when I’m myself needing a support. But, don’t forget that’s the same story the other side. Sharing work and even a gesture of offering a hand make tons of difference. It always reminds your partner that they are not alone in this.
Also, accept any help your friends or family is ready to offer. I’m a person who loves to do things my way but this didn’t help during postpartum and initial stage of parenthood. I’m so thankful to my family and friends who have supported us so much.
Try to stay calm and read relatable articles
I’m a reader. I like to read blogs, real life short stories and books (audio books). Some of my readings have helped me as well esp. when it’s relatable and positive.
You will find lots of postpartum and parenthood articles on internet and some of them may make you feel stressed and leave you over thinking. Please try and avoid those things for now.
Read influencer or stay in touch with those people around you who encourage you and have positive impact on you. You will also find lots of tips from them which can make your life a bit better.
Life is too short to be boring
We know this but who has energy to do fun things when you owe lot of rest to your body.
They say, find happiness in small moments. but how? Well, we started bathing a baby together whenever possible, deciding baby’s dress for the day and then see who did a better job with it, going on a walk together with our little one in the pram, capturing memories with baby esp. candid shots and they will never fail to bring smile on your face even after days, months and years.
Small efforts can keep the relationship alive
You can’t expect yourself to be able to dress up and go on dinner dates during this time but yeah making a cup of coffee for your partner when they are busy changing nappies/feeding baby will surely work. Reminding ourselves to stop for a moment and be grateful for your partner is very important. Tell them you still love them as much. Send a random text message with those magical words “I Love you”. They will surely run the magic this time.
If you want to do a bit extra in such busy schedule, order their favourite food/pizza, light up a candle and they will appreciate your efforts even more. However, having dinner together in that setup is not guaranteed (lol). We tried it and failed but it was all worth because that only made us laugh for the rest of our evening.
These things worked for us in last 4-5 months. Nothing comes with a guarantee but there is also nothing wrong in reminding ourselves to not to forget fundamentals of our precious relationship. I would love to hear from you if you have any other tips for our readers.
Till then, Like a Lime 🙂